Posts Tagged ‘just because i wanted to write’

when i was 16 or so, an adult leader in boy scouts handed me two books to read
one was ‘a separate peace’ by john knowles
the other
‘to kill a mockingbird’ by harper lee
in one transaction, i was gifted with two of the best books i have ever had the pleasure of reading
i have those copies still today
the pages are loose, and i keep a rubber band around the paper back so i don’t lose any of them



my dad’s funeral was yesterday

as an introvert, i am now awake at 3 am because i had to sleep to get away from all the people who exhaust me at such a gathering

don’t get me wrong

i enjoy seeing them

but i miss my solitude and quiet too

i was asked if i wanted to share a story at the funeral

i declined

not  because there were none to share, but because, given the opportunity, i might just turn the respectful, sanitized, disney version of his remembrance into something they weren’t quite ready for

i might just be honest

before you get me wrong, i’m not some bitter, you were never at my oboe recital, angry man-child

i love my dad

but not in a ‘let’s pretend he had a halo ar0und his head in family portraits’ kind of way


i walked upon the fallen leaves

i left no footprints there

i made no record in their piles

my passing not worthwhile


you know- it’s odd

to write- i need the opening line or two

and they come to me most often in the middle of the night when i awake


it is

i think


in some dark sense

in some weird humor

that my craft

my art

my estate

is really

when all is said and done

just me

leaving stains

on paper


Pleasure me

this is a poem which i think i wrote

actually i think i dreamt it

but i can’t be sure

it’s possible i’ve plagiarized it, although i can not find it via google

if anyone recognizes it as someone else’s work , please let me know

i believe it to be the most succinct writing on this subject ever penned

i call it arrogance